We’re Engaged!

Well, we’re married….the engagement happened a good 7 years ago. But it will make sense shortly.

Sorry friends, the whole plan to write one post a week sort of evaporated a long time ago, didn’t it?

Sigh….

But I know you understand.  This working mom thing, is no joke. As I have mentioned before..here and here.

Too busy doing things like this.

Just too busy doing things like this.

But that being said, things are going really really really well.

Evan is loving school. And I think school is loving Evan. (at least that is what they want us to believe to keep us quiet…. 🙂 ) just kidding….sort of.

Seriously, he is just one of those kids that NEEDS school. He thrives on it. Thrives on the interaction, the structure, the constant activity.  Lordy be, the constant need for activity.

“Does he nap?”

“He must be EXHAUSTED when he gets home from school the way he goes goes goes all day!”

Yup. If I had a nickel for every time I heard one of those… Nope, hasn’t napped on a regular basis since he was about two. And when he gets home from school, he is still raring to go. In a more overstimulated-body-is-tired-but-mind-wants-to-keep-moving kind of a way.

But his teachers get him. I was so worried that they wouldn’t. That with the other kids, the two different classrooms, that it would be hard for Evan. Well Pshaw says Evan.

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As usual Mom, I got this!

We had some worries in late August about Evan’s engagement with his peers and the adults in his life. If I am being honest, I was worried that the bubbly, overly social side that we had become quite fond of and accustomed to- was staring to dissipate.  During the summer, his attention span had become much shorter, and his interest in objects had increased while his interest in socializing and engaging with folks seemed to have lost its luster.

I don’t think we even realized it was happening until we received some key advice from a very well regarded doctor who is one of the few experts in Williams Syndrome.  She noticed it right away and encouraged us to go in a different direction with Evan, instead of worrying about any academics or even the fine motor school prep stuff- pour all our efforts into making Evan remember how rewarding it can be to engage with his peers and family.

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My heart was SO full.

I remember feeling kind of lost, like maybe this was just our new reality with Evan. That it would have to be okay if he didn’t want to play with me or even just be with me without being “taught” to do so.

I needed to slow my roll, as my very dear friend Talia would say.  Because it is now November, and I barely even think about it anymore.  Evan will bring toys to me, just because. JUST BECAUSE.  I mean….it’s hard to explain why that is so huge unless you know what it feels like to never have your child do that. He only would bring me things because he needed something or because he wanted me to manipulate the toy in some way.  But now he just wants to share.  He calls for me from the playroom. From his crib. From the front door when I leave in the morning. He asks for me when I am not here. These are all things he was not doing this summer.  He will come over and say “Hi mommy!” and look at me with those eyes and I just melt.

These eyes.

These eyes.

This morning in church, he sat to my left in his stroller. Munching on some veggie straws. I do long for the day when we can have him sit in one of the chairs with us but for now, if we want to participate in any part of the service where Evan is there, the stroller it is.  Two of his favorite songs opened up the service.

“Be Thou My Vision” and “How Great is our God.” I stayed seated while the congregation stood and sang in his direction because I wanted to see if he would sing with me. Instead, he stared at me with those eyes. His eyes twinkled with joy. He would squint every few lines and giggle at the memory of a song we sang when he was just an infant. But for almost every last word of each song, he locked right on my eyes and wouldn’t let go.  I almost broke down in tears because I was so happy.  He wasn’t watching my mouth because he liked the sounds (which he known to do). He was looking at his mama.

Engagement.

Connection.

Things that can’t exactly be taught. But they can be fostered. And foster, gosh darn it, we will continue to do.  Because it is what keeps my tank full. And hopefully, Evan’s as well.

Full. To the brim.

Full. To the brim.

 

 

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