Just a Mom

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Some days, that is all I want to be.

Just a Mom.

Just another mom of a toddler,  changing diapers, making nuggets, pushing swings, reading books, snuggling, singing, navigating tantrums, giggling, and collapsing into bed.

Sometimes I can do just that. (well that and go to work….but that is for another post)

Unfortunately, the majority of the time, that is not the path paved for me.

Lately I find myself being his case manager. His occupational therapist. His speech therapist.  His medical manager. His nutritionist. Evan’s project manager, that’s me. I just spent the better part of an hour on the phone with our insurance company trying to fix a claim that I have called about 4 other times. Great way to spend my morning off. Sigh…..

I read a post the other day on the Williams Syndrome Support board from a mom who was asking if other parents felt the same way,if it is just easier to wear all the therapist hats ourselves. To stop relying on professionals to direct our way, and instead take things into our own hands because who else will?  I totally hear her plight, and I can see where she is coming from. But it also makes me sad.

Because I just want to be a mom. Plain and simple.

Trying to be "just a mom"

Trying to be “just a mom”

I can remember talking to Evan’s early intervention speech therapist, Miss Becky, (who we miss dearly) after one of his sessions back in the spring. I was asking her numerous questions of how we should be communicating with Evan, to better foster his language. I was probably beating myself up a little for not doing all the “homework” she assigned us from the previous session. She interrupted me and said, “Erin, you have to just be the mom, sometimes. It’s okay. You shouldn’t have to be the the therapist for him, let us do that.”

Wow. That was a little wake up call. Sometimes I feel like all my interactions with my son are calculated. What toy can I choose that will get the most bang for our buck? Will it help his fine motor pincer grasp? Will it foster the need to communicate with me because he will need assistance? Does it provide opportunity for turn taking? Have I put away all the distracting wind up toys and musical things that would pull his attention? Is the dog in the other room so she doesn’t bother us?

And then sometimes I just lie down next to him in the playroom and I pretend to sleep and making funny snoring sounds.

Honestly, that is one of my favorite things to do right now.

Because he crawls over to me, lays his head on my chest and says, “Mommy’s sleeping,” (sounds like Mommy’s sweeping) and then he makes the same funny snoring sound I am. I guess that is calculated on my part too, because I know he will snuggle with me and I do not have to think about anything else but being his mom for those few minutes.

Bliss.

And then I will “wake up” and make sure he is not w sitting, wait for him to initiate communication for another toy and start project managing all over again.

But for those few minutes, I was “just a mom.”

More than enough for me.

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4 Comments on Just a Mom

  1. Kim
    September 26, 2014 at 1:54 pm (3 years ago)

    I TOTALLY relate. And thanks for the heads up about w-sitting. Gavin does it all the time. I’ll add that to my Gavin’s Project Manager duty list to watch out for. 🙂

    Reply
  2. Erin
    September 28, 2014 at 7:01 am (3 years ago)

    Twin, I wish you didn’t have to worry about these things too.But you will continue to do what’s best for your little man because that’s what we do as parents. Just keep swimming along, and make sure to let his therapists guide you. You are the captain of his team, but you need to use all the players. Love you, Kim!

    Reply
  3. Kristi Campbell
    October 17, 2014 at 11:30 pm (3 years ago)

    Tucker’s teacher from preschool autism class told me the same when it came to questioning doing more ABA therapy at home. She told me to be a mom. And that’s what I want so… I’m trying. I LIVE FOR those moments or sleepy bliss when they snuggle… so much..

    Reply
  4. Mimmy
    June 16, 2015 at 5:09 pm (3 years ago)

    Our older son has OCD related selective eating disorder & went through CHOP’s eating & swallowing center when he was younger. Nowadays we’re dealing with his Ehlers–Danlos syndrome – he goes to CHOP’s genetic & metabolic desease docs, OT, PT & cardiologist.

    Our middle son would’ve been 11 this year.. He was born prematurely and died 3 days after birth in the NICU… There was no medical explanation of why & how, just “sometimes life isn’t fair” so it’ll always be a mystery.

    The youngest one has tight achillies, she sits W and has been a toe-walker since she started to walk until recently. We went through years of orthodontics, P/T at the CHOP with her & she’s finally getting better after sleeping with 2 sets of very uncomfortable braces nightly for 2 years – I had to watch her from the baby monitor to make sure she didn’t take them off in the middle of the night.

    I can totally relate the mountain of doctor’s bills & the never ending cycles of insurance claims… You’ve got to be a strong one to be a mom of children with special needs. On bad days, I feel like I’d never been able to get out of my bed if it wasn’t for the Zoloft, coffee & the kids… But then on the good days I think life’d be just boring if it wasn’t for all the challenges I have to face on a daily basis… And what would I do when they leave the nest?

    Good luck & enjoy the little time of being just a mom! xoxo

    Reply

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