Trust me, Mama

Relaxing after class (and a rainy morning)
Mama, I got this.  

That is what Evan seemed to be saying as he walked away from me this morning at his first “Meet and Play” class.  I have been calling this class, ‘Preschool Prep.’  I had to do a little mommy maneuvering and negotiating to get him into the program.  He is only able to go for three weeks but I was excited to get him into any amount I could.  It is a small group class with several teachers and therapists.  Parents leave and can watch through a two-way mirror.  They do a mini-schedule with the children- with gross motor activities, art, music, snack, etc.  I thought it would be a perfect setting to see how Evan might do this fall. 
It’s no secret, I am a teensy bit nervous about this fall.
Evan will spend part of his week in a daycare/preschool setting and a few days with my mother, while I return to work for the first time in over two years.

Believe me, I know how lucky I am.

You do not have to tell me twice. I am so lucky to have had this time at home. I am lucky to have a wonderful job to return to where the staff is like family.  I am lucky that my mother is able to help out a few times a week to offset costs and to give Evan a mix of socialization and one-on-one time.  I am lucky that I found a school for E where I am close friends with a staff member and I felt at “home” the minute I walked through the doors.
But being lucky, and being blessed- does not make me any less uneasy about those first few weeks when we will all be going through a major transition.

Mama, I got this.

Every time I look at Evan lately, he is doing something new and exciting.  Eating a meatball, walking all over without any support, opening doors himself, Identifying animals in books with no prompting, telling Zoey to “iiiii-ooooowwwwwnn” (lie down)
It seems he knows I am nervous. He knows I am worried how he will “fit in” with the other children.  How will they treat him? How will the teachers handle his need for repetition? His bouncing and rocking? His unusual diet.  He is attending school with children who are developing typically.  If there are other children with special needs enrolled, I am unaware of it. They will be sitting at a table to eat, washing hands at a sink, using a cubby for their belongings (yes I said belongings), creating art projects, doing circle time, the list goes on.

Relax, mama, I’ll be fine. 

This morning, he sat at a table and did a puzzle. He ate a snack with the other kids and didn’t run away.  He sat in a music circle (albeit in a teacher’s lap) and did not try to get away.  He carried two rubber stars across the room so someone would sing “Twinkle, Twinkle,” to him. He played with watermelon that they had for snack and did not gag or throw up. 
He only cried because others were crying. (story for another day)
My little Mr. Empathy.
I walked out of there beaming from ear to ear. I was so proud of him. 

Mama, I am going to be fine. Believe in me.

 Ok Mama?

And I will be there waiting at the end of the day to give you a big hug and a smile, I promise. 
Trust me, Mama.

1 Comment on Trust me, Mama

  1. melissa
    August 2, 2013 at 8:41 pm (7 years ago)

    I love this, and it’s so true. I think I have told you this, but I was so nervous about R starting preschool, especially with her eating (and vomiting), but by the end of the school year she was the *only* child in the class who had not thrown up or sobbed in the class that year. And R still is usually found in someone’s lap during circle time…she just likes the cuddles. E will do amazing and will amaze you and his classmates.


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